by Sarah Philipp, Director of Learning // Nudge Coach
In this post I’ll walk you through the 2 most important questions to get answered during the first coaching session, and how to get clarity - not just responses - to both of them.
In my experience, the initial coaching session or “initial consult” with a new client is a lot like a first date. It feels hopeful, exciting, a little awkward at times, and it can determine whether or not the relationship gets off the ground.
One thing I like better about a first coaching session; unlike a first date, it’s totally acceptable to ask questions like, “Where do you see this going?” and “How can I be a good partner to you?”
This kind of communication is essential to the new coach-client relationship. There needs to be clarity for both coach and client on what they expect of themselves and each other. This reduces the risk of frustration and miscommunication down the road.
Typically, you’ll sit down with your new client (in person or virtually) and ask them a series of questions. You may even choose to have them fill out an assessment form, or consider these questions ahead of time.
There are endless questions you can come up with. That’s not the hard part. (If you’re short on ideas, here’s a big list.)
But now matter how you handle it, and virtually no matter what kind of coaching you offer, there are 2 essential first coaching session questions that you always need to get answered, as clearly and as quickly as possible.
Let’s find out what they are.
1. What’s the goal? Where does your client expect you to take them?
The first thing to talk about with your client is what their goals are, and what they expect to get from working with you.
Is it realistic?
Way too vague?
Goals like “weight loss” or “save more money” can be trouble.
You don’t want to help your client save $5,000 only to find out that what they really meant was $500,000. If you had known this, you might have advised them to break that goal down into smaller wins, or steered them toward a different goal entirely.
You would have encouraged them to set a goal that could better set both of you up for success.
Now, instead of celebrating the $5K, they are upset about the other $495,0000. This is the trap of a vague goal.
Sometimes, your client might be unsure of what they want the goal to be. They might say “I want to get ahead in my career.”, but they haven’t landed on exactly what that means.
Leaving it vague could set you up for failure as their coach if you find out later that you were not on the same page, so encourage them to get more specific.
There’s a reason the most commonly cited goal-setting system on the internet, i.e. the SMART goals acronym, starts with S, for Specific.
S – Specific (or Significant)
M – Measurable (or Meaningful)
A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented)
R – Relevant (or Rewarding)
T – Time-bound (or Trackable)
How To Get Specific (Enough) During Initial Coaching Sessions
Now, if your client’s goal is more vague by nature or they are having difficulty getting more specific, encourage them to at least get as specific as possible with their action steps during your initial coaching conversation.
For example, if your client’s goal is to “work less and play more”, but they don’t know exactly what the ratio of work hours to play hours will be, encourage them to be specific in other areas of this goal.
What do they mean by “play”?
Are there certain activities they have in mind?
What do they have to do to make play happen?
By starting with the action step of “do five somersaults in the grass each day”, this gives them a way to feel momentum build while they work on the larger goal of “more play and less work”.
Initial coaching sessions are a great opportunity to listen more and advise less.
It’s natural to want to throw a lot of information and resources at our clients during or after the initial coaching conversation. The relationship is new and we want to help this person, as well as prove ourselves and our expertise.
By resisting that urge, and, instead, doing our best to connect with the client through better understanding, we are able to gain deeper insight into their goals, personality, challenges, narratives and motivators.
We are also able to avoid overwhelming them at the end of the session with a long list of recommendations. Clients who leave the initial coaching session overwhelmed are more likely to rethink working with you altogether.
Learn more about mastering client conversations and check-ins from our workshop with Laura Poburan here
2. What’s the timeline? When does your client expect to get there?
Back to that SMART goals mnemonic, did you notice it ends with T, for Time-bound?
That’s right! The next most important thing to ask your new client is how long they expect it will take to reach their goal(s).
Say you’ve gotten your client to a nicely defined and realistic goal. Let’s use the example of a client who wants to lose ten pounds, and you’re both on the same page with that goal. We’re off to a good start!
Then, a week goes by and they’re upset because what they really meant was ten pounds in five days.
Oops…
Instead of feeling the win of losing a pound or two that week, and being well on the way to their goal, they’re only focused on how they (and you as their coach) fell short of a timeline that you didn’t even know they had.
What could have been a celebration about hitting a milestone ended up as a spot of tension.
The timeline discussion can also give you insight into the person’s commitment level.
Do they intend on working with you for a very short period or are they in it for the long haul?
How flexible are they willing to be?
Now, I can see how you might have a reservation creeping in...
“But won’t bringing up timelines act as a guarantee that they’ll get results in a certain period of time?”
No.
You are only asking what their expectations are, not making any promises. The best way to accomplish this is to simply ask the question during the initial consult, initial coaching session or in an intake form.
Once you establish what the goal is, give them some options.
Depending on the type of coaching you do and the goal, the options you provide may look something like this in an intake question:
( May look A LOT like this ☝️ if you create an intake form for your clients in Nudge )
Coaching Intake Questions To Consider
So now we know. Never leave the first coaching session without gaining clarity on two questions:
What target/goal is in their mind?
What’s their target timeline?
This tells us WHAT we should ask, and in our discussion so far we’ve covered a lot of WHY. But WHEN and HOW you ask also matters.
Should I ask these questions in an intake form before the first coaching session? Or does it have to be during the first coaching conversation?
Coaching Intake Questions vs First Coaching Session Questions
Before we get into more detail here, the most important takeaway is that you must have these 2 questions answered clearly by the end of your initial coaching conversation.
How you get it is less essential. But it can help you create an onboarding workflow that optimizes for your most important business goal.
Here are 2 examples for how we can align HOW and WHEN we ask these questions with our most important business objective:
Example 1:
Let’s say you offer a high-end, high ticket coaching program to a clientele who badly need to feel supported and heard early and often.
Your most important business objective is being as effective as possible in your one on one interactions with each client.
This is when you take as much time as you need to get clarity on the goal and target timeline of your client during the first coaching session.
In this particular case, you could also consider asking these questions in your Coaching Intake Form as well before the session, so you can focus on unpacking each client’s initial responses further while you’re together.
Example 2:
Say you have a fast-growing group coaching cohort that needs to scale up its efficiency fast so you can take advantage of growing demand.
Your most critical business objective at this stage is efficiency. How can I get the most critical information from everyone without over burdening my team?
This is when a Coaching Intake Form becomes invaluable.
Now, a word of caution here before you think you can just drop “What’s Your Goal?” and “What’s Your Timeline?” into a form and move on.
It’s hard to get clarity from a simple form response. So if you’re relying fully on an Intake Form to get answers to the critical 2 questions, you must prompt your clients in ways that will elicit detailed responses.
Here’s an example series of coaching intake questions you might useImagine that after working with me you’ve gotten exactly what you were looking for. Describe the difference between where you were when you started, and where you are now.
What do you think changed in your habits and day-to-day life to get you there?
What changed in how you feel about yourself and your situation?
How long did it take you to get there?
Final thoughts
If you’ve brought one or both of these initial coaching session questions, you are doing great! As you continue working with your client, you can check in with their answers to make sure you’re always on the same page with expectations, progress and results.
This will help you find that sweet spot in your coaching: challenging your clients without over or underwhelming them.
